The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage, but those who are considered worthy to attain to that age and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry nor are given in marriage

-Jesus

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

-Book of Genesis

There are so many marriages occurring throughout the earth.  And with just as many marriages, just as many rituals and traditions are followed.  Some are familiar to many, and some rituals or traditions are more obscure.  An overarching theme throughout the world would be one of celebration and rejoicing.  Who doesn’t like a good Party?  And the Kingdom does like a good celebration!  As a matter of fact, so central is the protocol of marriage to the Kingdom of God, that Jesus' very first miracle was at a wedding party!  They were having such a good time that all the wine was consumed and the celebration had just started!  What did Jesus do?  Yup, he provided more than enough to keep the party going!  In this one act, Jesus began His ministry to declare the Kingdom of God on earth.  Jesus clearly likes to celebrate weddings!

But then it is Jesus himself that says some are deemed worthy and neither will marry nor will be given into marriage.  So how can He be FOR marriage and then say some are worthy NOT to be married?  The two statements clearly conflict with each other, one may say.  Such juxtapositions of ideas do seem at first totally contradictory to each other. 

The scriptures are full with examples of marriages and marriages serving as forerunners, glimpses, of the age to come.  It was, after all, God himself that commanded the first couple to be fruitful and to multiply!  Having so many examples and the whole book of Song of Songs, written and solely focused on the very intimacy between a man and a woman, how can then some be deemed “worthy” to not marry?  One may indeed ask, isn’t the parable of the waiting bride about the actual wedding supper of the Groom?

So how can marriage be a protocol of The Kingdom, and yet some that are citizens of that Kingdom be considered worthy NOT to enter into marriage?  A very good question indeed.  One that at first seems not to have an answer, or rather an answer that makes “sense”, if looked through the perspective and realm of the earthly mind.  But The Kingdom is not of this earth and one must remember it is this heavenly Kingdom, this heavenly Realm, this heavenly Reign that the protocols belong to.

Marriage at its core is the joining of two to become one.  It is this union that is celebrated.  As the ages have passed, the actual act of getting married has morphed from God saying a simple phrase, “man, your wife.  Women your husband” to something way more elaborate and ritualistic.   It has become something of intricate complexity.  The intricate complexity is now to the point where people in some cultures are spending years in preparation for the “event”.  Some wedding celebrations last for months in order to adhere to the cultural rituals.  Some even spend in the ritual of the event the amount of what many would earn in 10 years of hard labor.

Finding the “perfect” match for a marriage spouse has also increased in complexity and intricacies.  Throughout the world, we see many cultures having “arranged marriages.”  In some cultures the arrangements are finalized even before the children are barely able to walk, much less the children able to voice a yes or no.  Finding that perfect “marriage partner” has given rise to the use of technology for the best “match”.  Others hire professional “matchmakers” to bring them together with a “suitable” spouse.  Yes indeed, if we look at how it all started, the simplicity of it all, and where we are now throughout the world, marriage, weddings, and “finding” that spouse has indeed increased in complexity, fancy algorithms and ritualistic rites.  All this leads us to a question, but how is it supposed to be in The Kingdom?

“And while they were going away to make the purchase, the bridegroom came, and those who were READY went in with him to the wedding feast; and the door was shut.”

-Parable of Ten Virgins by Jesus

The imagery of marriage and weddings are indeed throughout the scriptures.  We find a woven imagery from the beginning in Genesis with the story of Issac and Rachel and unto the book of The Revelation of Jesus Christ, where both The Spirit and The Bride cry out in unison.  This imagery depicts many layers of the eternal story line.  God being the one that brings the “two” together to form a covenant, if they choose so, and in this union something much greater forms.

This union, this intimacy, that develops is so vital that God gives a very interesting mandate.  Rarely mentioned in any Jewish or Christian rituals, at a glance it seems very easy to “follow”, but the “real life” logistics of following it would implicate many as guilty and out of order.  I think this is why many don’t even address it in teachings, sermons, or discipleship classes, for it would be far too convicting to not only the ones being married but to whole communities.

When a man is newly married,

he shall not go out with the army

or be charged with any business;

he shall be free at home

one year

and shall cheer his wife whom he has taken.

-Deuteronomy 24

Can you imagine this?  Passive income, and or savings are to a point that He can take a whole year off from any active business, war, or being in the army?  Then can you imagine what would be the emotional, psychological, and spiritual deposits that would occur when for 1 year, a man's sole focus and primary duty is to “Make His wife happy?”  A whole year of saying no to any other things, no to “hey can you come preach at…”  NO to “hey there is a great investment I want you to be a part of.”  No to “I want to offer you a new promotion but need you to start a new franchise, but it will come with a 20 million dollar bonus!”  NO to “The family is getting together for a reunion but it’s during your engagement anniversary day even if grandpa will be there.”  There have been many great long lasting marriages, but how often has one come across a marriage where someone has taken a year-long hiatus from business and war? ”  The truth is that few, if any, have what many would phrase as the “financial means” to even consider it.  Reality of today's culture is that many get married on weekends and both return to “work” the following week.  But what would be the results of following this year of focus and rest set forth by God?

Yet the question remains why would God mandate what many would deemed as “improbable” and view by so many as “Impossible?”  Remember, the Kingdom perspective is not like man’s perspective.  For the mandate did not just go to a single couple joined together.  No this mandate, this rule, was given to a whole nation.  An entire nation received this. That’s the interesting thing.  The welfare of the marriage, the foundational establishment of that New Marriage was beyond just the two.  It was the responsibility of the entire people to help each other achieve this.

Imagine such conversation:

“I see you and Lisa have decided to be joined to each other sir.  So when are you going to start your sabbatical year off?  Are you ready to take on all the financial bills and responsibility for a year without working?  How is the trips, adventures and date nights planning coming along?  Oh?  You don't make that much?  It’s okay, me and the boys got you.  You will need a year to recover after all the work we are about to throw your way…but we will get you there.   Bobby here has a job for you, starts at 4 but will pay over-time after the first 4 days.  Then on the weekends, I need to hire you to consult for me on setting up my new llc.  Then Richard, he has a night time management job.  He needs you to start from 5-10 every Thursday and Friday.  The way we see it, after about 8 months you should have enough income coming into your portfolio that we are going to help you set up.  The earned passive income from the portfolio will be more than enough to pay for your year off expenses and trips.  We are so happy for yall both…”

Can you imagine such a community?  A personal vested investment into the success, into the dedication and consecration of two joining in covenant with each other?  What would be the result to a community, a city, a region, to a nation with such a culture? 

We see glimpses of what may be in the Song of Songs.  There is a portion of the story where the brothers of the bride recognize she is in need of help.  What do they do?  They come to her aid, they give and adorn her with precious jewels.  Help her to get ready.  They do not chastise her, rather they come alongside her and help her to get ready, for the primary duty of the bride is to get ready.  It is not her responsibility to get the wedding ceremony ready.  It is also not her responsibility to gather the people that would come to the wedding ceremony.  In this getting ready, she becomes a wife.

It is written, blessed is the man who FINDS a wife, for he FINDS a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.  You see he finds a WIFE.  He finds not a girlfriend or “possibility”.  He FINDS a good thing in someone that has made herself ready and is already a WIFE.  This very theme is echoed in the parable of the ten virgins.  The wise ones were READY to go when the call came.  When everything was ready, the proclamation came, and they were ready to take action.  The foolish ones did not make themselves ready and missed the hour of their invitation.

In parallel, this is echoed in the end times in the cry of the Bride of Christ when she joins the cry of the Holy Spirit.  She cries out to her Bridegroom, “COME!”  She has made herself ready, she has surrendered other lovers and she has gathered her wedding dress.  She has consecrated herself in preparation for the wedding feast.

In the story of Issac and Rachel, we see this very theme echoed.  Rachel received the invitation to come and be married by the servant of Abraham.  And who gave that invitation?  The servant of the Father of the groom, Eliezer, whose very name means “Help of my God.”  It is this helper that gives the invitation to the bride.  What does Jesus call the Holy Spirit?  It is revealed when He instructs them to wait in Jerusalem.

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.

-Jesus (recorded in john 14)

In the marriage of Issac to Rachel and in the waiting in Jerusalem after Jesus ascends to Heaven, we see the same protocol.  It is the FATHER that sends THE Helper, to both send the message to the bride, and to help her get to the BRIDEGROOM.  Somehow, the church has moved far away from this pattern.  Rather than being partners with the Spirit, the church has decided that the wedding ceremony is to be focused on the bride, and the bride sets up the ceremony, the whole day is about “the bride” and the groom is supposed to just “be present”.  After all, it is the bride that everyone waits for to walk down the aisle, not the groom.  In most ceremonies, it is the groom that is the one “waiting” for her to make an appearance.  This is in contrast to what is in scripture, where it is the bride waiting for the groom.

Many of today’s “churchy” and “christianese” wedding traditions and rituals are purely man made adaptations with very little scriptural foundations.  Through careful adaptations and “interpretations,” what “sounds” and “looks” good has become the “proper” way of doing things.  But as one surrenders to the culture of the Kingdom, one recognizes that it is just as Jesus said His Kingdom is indeed NOT of this world.

Let's see how Jesus sets up the coming up wedding to the Groom.  First He shows His choice to love her, even before she was even born, by demonstrating His extravagant love, to the point that He even gave up His own life.  He makes this choice, just so that she could have an opportunity to reject or accept His love.  Next He tells her to WAIT until the Helper comes.  Then He says, I’ll be back, I'm making a place ready for YOU.  And finally, when the wedding celebration preparations are all ready, the time will come that the Spirit will reveal to the bride the season has come.  This revelation becomes the Bride’s heart cry and she joins in the Prayer and Cry of The Spirit and BOTH say COME.  The Bridegroom then comes to gather the Bride to go to the wedding celebration setup by The Father.

How different indeed would it be if a wedding ceremony represented such a pattern?  Can one imagine that it is the bride waiting in the altar, in her white gown, she and her “helper” cry out for the bridegroom to come.  It is then the bridegroom that comes down the aisle.  He turns the bride around and presents her to all the ones in attendance, and declares, “this is My Beloved.  Come my friends, to the wedding feast setup by my father, to celebrate and honor your part in helping us and supporting us to start this journey together.”  Rather than bride focused, the ceremony depicts something far more.

How different indeed would such a ceremony be?

Jesus forewarned the seriousness and the weight that God puts on marriage.

Mathews 22 is often titled by many bible translations as the parable of the Marriage feast, but such depiction is not accurate at all.

Jesus spoke to them again in parables, saying,

“The kingdom of heaven is like a king who held a wedding feast for his son.

The comparison wasn’t the wedding, it was LIKE A KING who held one.  In other words, the theme, focus, or better said, protocol, Jesus was teaching about, was on the lavishness and generosity of the King.  But the guest that received the invitation that the Father of the Groom lavishly setup, killed the messengers and the servants sent to invite them.  So the King's anger rose up and the King decreed them no longer worthy, and decreed them to be destroyed.  However now there were empty slots, and room for more.  So The King once again sent servants to invite whomever they found.  And many came, this time however, the King walked among the guests and found one who came to the celebration “just as i am”.  And the grace and mercy of the King, asked:

"Friend, how did you get in here without wedding clothes?" And the man was speechless."

The King referred to the guest as “FRIEND”.  But most of us would be oh..the king’s mercy and grace allowed the guest dressed NOT in the proper protocol attire for the wedding feast to remain.  However this is not the case, the guest was bound up and thrown INTO darkness.  The parable ends with the Father of the Groom, saying “MANY are called, few are chosen.”

This is how serious the Father of The Groom, The King, takes the protocol of marriage.  Why?  Because in His lavishness and Generosity, in His abundant grace and opportunity to come to the Ceremony, there is an expectation from those that receive and accept the invitation.  The ceremony is NOT set up by the bride’s family, nor the groom, it is set up by the King.  Many choose NOT to heed the voice of the King, kill the messengers of the King, stubbornly refuse to accept the invitation.  They use any possible twisting of words to use as an excuse to do their own will over accepting the generosity of The King.  Some do accept and come to the feast, but disrespect, take for granted, in other words, dishonor the very majesty and honor of the invitation.  By calling them friends, the King acknowledged they knew him and him them, so the guest would have been aware of the protocols and attire needed for the ceremony.  This would be like RSVP’ing to a black tie only gala and showing up in a bikini with flip-flops.  Some would even show up in a suit and tie and expect to be compliant to the invitation.

This warning from Jesus, teaching the protocol of marriage, its celebration, and the seriousness of how it is viewed by God, is seldom taught.  Rather, for many cultures, including those calling themselves by His Name, it has become selfishly how it is about THEM, “the bride”.  Notice that in this parable, the bride is NOT mentioned at all!  Because in the Kingdom the central figure is NOT the bride, it is the King, it is the King’s heart and the protocol of honor and reverence, of respect to the reality that He is King and we are not.

Marriage is a protocol of The Kingdom because it embodies the essence of the very covenant that God entered into with man.  Amos asked the very question, “Can two walk together unless they BOTH agree?”  You see the kingdom is not made up of robotic slaves forced into submission.  It is rather full of willful lovers submitted to one another, walking willfully in surrender to the heart beat of their God.  Jesus prayed for this, he said, “Father, that they may be one, as you and I Are one.”  We see this original intent and design written about before the fall.  It is written that God Himself, came down and walked together with them in the cool of the day.  Can you imagine the conversations that were had?  The intimacy developed? One can only imagine!

Before the very foundation of the universe was created, God saw the separation that would occur from man’s transgression.  But to redeem the creation back to Himself, the legal required penalty for that transgression would need to be met.  So what did the Bridegroom do?  He said, I’ll do it!  I’ll pay the price of the transgression.

He did it not to create robots or mindless slaves, for that would not be love.  He did it so that people would have the opportunity to have a free will decision to accept or reject His love for them.  Even before the first particle was created in the universe, the Bridegroom chose to Love.  Just so that the bride could have the opportunity to accept or reject Him.  Who Loves like this?!

Paul spoke of this mystery when he wrote down and exhorted men to “love your wives as Christ loved the church.”  An active unconditional choice to do despite whatever the other does and with no guarantee of reciprocity.  This type of love is a far reality from the modern day christian culture of what “love” looks like.  The acceptance of conditional love, self protection mechanisms, and promotions of such ideas that people fall “in and out of” “love,” all surrounding what is being promoted as what an ideal marriage is.

Paul further expands on this mystery while writing to the Ephesians:

"Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

Here he touches on the perspective of unconditional Love from two viewpoints of that expression of unconditional Love.  To a Man, Love means Respect.  To a Woman, Love means Connection/intimacy, or "in, to me, see".  It is two sides of the same coin.  That's why marriage can be such a deep expression of the Kingdom.  It is two people NOT like the other, learning to deny self and express the very core of the Kingdom.  It is the expressing of unselfish love in a way the other would receive it.  It is to Love without expectation of reciprocation.  It is to Respect without expectation of reciprocation.  To a man, it is to give all of himself and priority of Her needs above his even unto death, without her first "earning" it.  To a woman it is to respect him, without him first earning enough "merits" points to be shown respect.  Such protocol indeed run totally contrary to the systems of the world today, where the center of focus is self, not selflessness.

The world’s protocols have created countless websites and applications “matching” people based on “their criteria, scientific data, and their own "preferences.”  This has created a very interesting premise, one that is the exact opposite of what Jesus commands husbands to do.  Rather the expectation is that this choice to Love is not needed, or rather a lesser type of choice should only be made after careful qualified vetting and passing of test markers, “green lights.” Ones that say “I love until…”

That’s why marriage is a protocol of the Kingdom.  Because Love does make that choice.  Even before the first particle was created of this universe, Love chose to make that choice, knowing it would be rejected.  Love chose to pay the price for redemption, just to give the opportunity to accept love or reject it.  

So, why would Jesus say “The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage, but those who are considered worthy to attain to that age and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry nor are given in marriage”?  If marriage is a protocol, then why would some be worthy “not” to marry?  The insight to this perplexing question is found in the heart of those asking the question that got the reply from Jesus.  They set up a scenario that fit their understanding, their perspective, their customs, culture and understanding of what marriage was.  In their marriage scenario, a wife was just property to be passed around to the true “owner.”  The true “husband” / “owner” was the one whom she produced a child with.  In their eyes, she was less than the husband.  To them, even unto eternity, that status of being property/less than would remained.  Jesus replied with a perspective of the Kingdom.  His answer said in this current season of time, but in the next season (age) of time, eternity,  that is not how things operate.  In his response to their scenario, he gave a glimpse of how things work in eternity and the Kingdom.

This is why the enemy hates marriage.  Cause at its core it is two people made in the image of God, choosing to put someone above themselves.  The systems of the this world, would rather have men and women see each other as being property, not equal to each other, and only reciprocating if the other "earns" enough points for it.  A man and a woman choosing to represent the Kingdom of God, in a tangible, visible, and everyday example, confronts the systems of the world.  It becomes a living example for people to see them learning how to prefer the other over themselves.  Through this choice they actively demonstrate what unconditional Love is to a world that encourages and only believes conditional love should be rewarded. The enemy fights strongly against this type of demonstration and will do anything possible to keep people from even coming close to making such a covenant choice.  Such unions and relationships actively display the very essence of God, His unconditional Love and His Choice to love.  The protocol of Marriage in the Kingdom of God is based not on feelings, emotions, but on Choice.  It is a choice to Love regardless of the other’s decision or awareness.  This choice at its core, is a foundational pillar that reflects the very essence and character of God.